What does a perfectionist, workaholic, achievement-motivated, competitive person do when health problems disrupt their abilities and their control?
It's the question I've struggled with for the last 6 years after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS).
It's the reason I've looked to technology so much for the answers—for leverage and power. I need technology to supplement where my humanness falls short.
So, it's a different style of CYBORG_ this week, and I hope you find it helpful! However, quick disclaimer: I'm not a therapist nor a doctor. None of this is medical advice. Consult appropriate physicians for your situation.
This is all so raw for me this week because of a debilitating injury with my nerves on my shoulder and neck. I was terrified of triggering another MS attack with the injury and added stress.
So, again, I ask, what do you do? What do you do when you can't do anything?
Getting Good at Rest
Ha! I laugh at my own heading. This is a target, not something I currently know how to do, but something I know I must learn.
Here's what MS has taught me so far:
- Choose to rest or the choice will be taken from you.
- If you can go today, then go. If you can't, don't.
- Believe people when they say they can't. They know their limits. Extend that same belief to your own body's limits.
Even these rules must be taken in balance. I noticed that in the years immediately following my MS attack and diagnosis, these rules were very valuable to me in cultivating some compassion, plus the reality check that I needed.
Now that we're closer to my 6-year anniversary of the diagnosis and I have made considerable progress in my health and wellness, some of these rules have been abused.
Especially #2: if I can go, then I really go. This past week was a warning sign that feeling good is temporary. Rest is not something I can diminish. I still need to bring mindfulness to my drive for achievement.
To support my need for rest (and hopefully yours, too), I've been considering the nature of rest.
Types of Rest
This Psychology Today article suggests that there are 7 different kinds of rest. Sleep is not the only kind of rest that there is—and that's encouraging. They identify:
- physical
- mental
- sensory
- emotional
- social
- creative
- spiritual
- and (bonus) systemic rest
One of the things I've been working on with my therapist is discovering and documenting the activities that help me rest, recharge, or reset in order to help balance my over-productive tendencies.
I'd encourage you to find activities that create rest for each of the types above. I'll be doing the same.
It might help to consider this spin on "types of rest"—while I'm not familiar with this creator, the list she provides is a little less vague, so it might spark some ideas. These are her types:
- time away
- permission to not be helpful
- something “unproductive”
- appreciating art and nature
- solitude to recharge
- a break from responsibility
- stillness to decompress
- safe space
- alone time at home
Intentional Mindlessness
While it is obvious that an excess of mindless activities is counter-productive and sometimes damaging, there surely is a necessary balance where mindlessness is healthy.
Video games were my saving grace this weekend. I still feel guilty about playing so much, but it did help take my mind off of the pain, pass the time, and allowed me an easy way to get lots of rounds of icing / heating my injury.
To my surprise, my therapist told me that the guilt for choosing video games was unnecessary. She wants me to find more of these "mindless" activities so that I can have a list at the ready in cases of emergency or need.
So...help me out—hit reply on this email if you have any ideas of mindless activities that can facilitate rest and recovery.
Balance is Everything
Have you seen a gyroscope? I think they're a great metaphor for the balance we need in our modern world. It's not just balancing a single plane, like scales or even someone on a tightrope.
It has a spinning wheel at the center, and as long as it keeps spinning, it provides incredible balance, because it resists forces to change its orientation.
Not a physicist here, but it seems like this is key to achieving balance: combining the movement with the stillness. Neither the parts at rest nor the parts in motion will be effective on their own. Once the right balance of the two is struck, it's so much harder to knock down the whole system.
We all have limits. We all have potential. We all have control over our own system.
Balance is achieved when both stillness and motion are at play. So in a world of "hustle and grind," let's remember to "rest easy," too.