If I had a dollar for every time an executive or a leader said that they need / want / do make data-driven decisions...I wouldn't need to work anymore!
The thing is, we're still emotional creatures, despite our attempts at appearing logical and calculating. At least in the realm of marketing (my field of work), there is no question that emotion is a greater driver of action than anything else. In fact, I would posit that even when marketing real numbers and data to people, all that is really being communicated is some kind of safety. When did a prospect ever sit down, pull out a spreadsheet and compare the supposed data for productivity of one app vs. another app?
It seems like data is often used to comfort us when it agrees with our strategy and it is dismissed when it is in conflict with our strategy. Ultimately, it's a really easy trap to fall right back in with confirmation bias, rather than steering us away from it like it would seem prone to do.
While mustering the courage to push past biases and let the data stand is a valiant topic on its own, I am seeing a different part of the problem right now.
Stacked Against You
Numbers don't mean anything until they actually impact you, personally. For example, in the U.S., only about three people in 1,000 develop Multiple Sclerosis but that number only means something if you know someone with MS or have it yourself. What seems like safety in such steep numbers can suddenly feel suffocating when you end up in the tiny, affected group. How could it happen to me, of all the possible people?
It's a bizarre thing to find where you intersect in statistics like this for various things: how likely is it that you are a certain gender, ethnicity, have XYZ expertise, and hosts of other things (it's not all bad stuff like diseases).
The problem is that at a certain point, numbers are still meaningless because, in our world, we've started to understand people and systems in terms of numbers that our brains just can't fathom. What does it mean to have 1 million followers on a social media account? How can there be 1.5(ish) billion people just in India? I can't even comprehend that 48,000 people have watched me tell the story of the worst weekend of my life (my MS attack).
When I think about the systems at play in our world, it's the most overwhelming thing I can do. People—real people—all with individual lives and experiences interacting with other people. Sometimes harming others, sometimes helping, sometimes ignoring.
As I have contemplated the trauma and harm being deployed at the whims of political agendas (especially as the U.S. has a new president), I've felt so pathetically small. So powerless. So dismissed. What could I possibly do when the numbers are stacked against me?
A Different Drive
Consulting with my therapist, we realized together that this overwhelm isn't really just because of the content I'm consuming. It's a system that is draining because it impacts and affects all of us. The fear and stress introduced with executive orders intent on causing pain and suffering to marginalized groups impacts all of us—even if we're not part of those groups ourselves.
This is actually somewhat intuitive: if someone hurts a family member or a close friend, you feel hurt, too. That's empathy and connection. We're social creatures, after all. But it is more than that.
"Every bit of pain that our community experiences ripples through everyone that cares." Dr. Lisa Diamond said as she explained a study done in Utah, U.S.A. last year during a legislative session. (See the full presentation, it's exceptionally insightful). She took a look at those connected to the LGBTQ community, grouped by queer individuals and those who love them (allies, friends, family who aren't queer).
One of the key findings after looking at how people responded to the legislative sessions was that cisgender, heterosexual family members (those who would not be directly affected by the legislation) reported worse mental health than they had before the session. In fact, that group had the greatest change out of the sample groups. As Dr. Diamond summarized on her slide during the presentation:
"This shows that the toll of an increasingly anti-LGBTQ climate extends far beyond the LGBTQ population."
I extrapolate this to all anti-humanity policies including but not limited to: discrimination, persecution, erasure, silencing of voices and opinions, inaccessibility, racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, xenophobia. When we hurt even the smallest demographic among us, it eventually leaks out to hurting all of us.
There may be difficult decisions that have to be made to uphold long-tested and established laws, but doing so in a rushed, sloppy manner without due process or without respecting human dignity is the greater crime.
Social safety, as Dr. Diamond explains, is fundamental to a human's well-being, mentally, physically, and emotionally. It does not mean agreement. It does not even mean understanding what someone's experience is like. Social safety is when you take a stand and show someone that when they are hurt, you are hurt. When someone wants to harm them, you will be there to protect them. When ideologies or policies dismiss your concerns, welfare, or existence, social safety says "I see you, I feel it, I'm here with you."
Cyborg
Being data-driven can be a positive, productive strategy. But when faced with staggering numbers or odds that seem impossible to surmount, there’s another strategy.
Leading a value-driven life is perhaps more sustainable over time, more fulfilling, and has the potential to make impact. Values are what we are made of deep down—the things most important and precious to us; the things we want to cultivate, protect, and see expressed in our lives.
I believe that the dignity of humanity is one of my values, and I’ve got a hunch it’s one of yours if you’ve stuck with this newsletter. We don’t have to see eye to eye on specific issues. We don’t have to agree.
We do have to treat each other with respect. We do have to see each other and everyone else as humans: equal and precious.
A final thought from Dr. Diamond’s presentation is that as we observe how people are affected by policies or events or oppression, we can either become a source of safety for them, or remove ourselves as a source of safety. For those who reported gaining a source of safety, her study saw a correlated increase in mental health and a decrease in hyper-vigilance.
She said that the group that most likely felt the greatest impact and transformation was the group that went from zero sources of social safety to one source. Zero to one is something you can do. There is someone in your life that you can affect in a profound way. No need to try and sway thousands or millions. Instead, turn to the edges of your social network and see if you can be the life-altering source of safety for someone who feels utterly alone and vulnerable.
When we protect the smallest, the weakest, it means we are helping the big numbers of us, too.